Eyes on the Prize

The past two weeks since my last blog have been filled with a lot of emotions (most of them good) and appointments! I have met with several doctors, had a PET scan, met with a counsellor and had a port put in to my chest. The port is a device that sits underneath my skin and allows my chemo and other drugs to be plugged right into a main artery so that I don't need an IV each time. I've now got a pretty attractive lump sticking out of my chest. It'll give me street cred I think.

On Monday of this week we got the results of my PET scan and we are feeling pretty positive about them. Our biggest fear was that the cancer has spread to distant sites in my body, but so far it looks like that is not the case. I still have to have a brain scan on Monday but hopefully that will show no metastases. So for now it looks like the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes down my left side and into my clavicle, as well as into the mammary nodes in my sternum. The PET scan also showed that the cancer has metastasized to the bone in my sternum and they have now confirmed that it is in my lungs. I'm guessing that to you, this does not seem like such fantastic news, but hey, it could be a lot worse!

In the meantime, life has been pretty wonderful! The outpouring of love and support that we have received from family, friends and our community has been unbelievable. We have received everything from cards, gifts, phone calls, messages and emails to meals, flowers, family photographs and even alkalinized water! Our workplaces have been equally amazing through their support and understanding of our situation. The staff at my school have even pooled their money together to hire us a house keeper to come in every second week, which will be so helpful! There have also been many offers of help to look after our kids, to drive me to appointments and even just to keep me company when I need it. The students in my class have written me letters and made me cards and pictures which have left me tearful, but grateful. I feel that the strength and love that is around us is nearly tangible and it makes me certain that we can get through this with our army around us.

Every gift and message that we have received mean so much to us, but I feel like I want to say something extra about two that I got this week. The first was from a sweet, little grade one girl from our school. It was her birthday recently and she decided to have a 50/50 party. For those of you who don't know, that means she asks for cash instead of gifts and then donates 50% of the money she receives to a cause. Well, she chose our family as that cause. She and her family came by last week to give us her beautiful card and amazing gift, and my heart nearly melted into a puddle. She wants us to put her money towards a "Family Adventure Fund" so that is exactly what we have done.

The second gift came from a boy in my class and his mom. This boy holds a piece of my heart because of his sweet personality, resiliency and awesome strength. His mom told me she had made something for me and I thought it might be some cookies. Well, she made me a quilt. By hand. It is so gorgeous and one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received. The quilt has bird patterns all over it, which is perfect, because I love birds, but it also reminds me that I can fly above all this.

So to end this blog I should mention that yesterday was my first chemo treatment. FINALLY. I have been waiting for chemo to start since mid-May, knowing the whole time that the cancer was growing inside of me and that I wasn't able to do anything about it. I cuddled with my quilt, visited with Daryl and dozed on and off throughout the treatment, and surprisingly, am feeling ok today.

I wish you and your family the best weekend filled with sunshine and laughter! Thanks again for all of your help, prayers, messages and support. We will be forever indebted.

Love Jen

I feel like to start this blog off, I should go back four years and explain this adventure from the beginning, so here goes...

I was first diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer four years ago, in June 2013. I was nursing my son, Greyson, and found a lump that just wouldn't go away. After a lot of tests it was determined that I had an agressive form of breast cancer called triple negative, meaning that it is estrogen negative, progesterone negative and HER2 negative. I had a bi-lateral mastectomy with reconstruction and four rounds of chemotherapy which left me hairless but not broken. There were no follow up tests to determine that I was cancer free, so I walked out of the cancer agency for what I thought was the last time, in December of 2013.

In the spring of 2014 I went for gene testing and I found out that I have something called BRCA1, which is a gene mutation that causes breast and ovarian cancers (as well as others, to a lesser degree). I wanted to be as proactive as possible, so I went ahead and had a hysterectomy in October of that year.

Since then I have been living my life as a "cancer free" individual and not taking a single day for granted. If you know me, then you know I live every day to the fullest. I try to look at everyday as an adventure and we try to "adventure" (yes that is a verb in my world) as much as we can. Sometimes that means a paddle board on a lake, sometimes that means a trip to a different country, or camping in our trailer and sometimes it just means a walk to the park or a dance in the living room. But we adventure. A lot.

Fast forward to February 2017. I started having a lot of pain in my chest, on the same side where the cancer had been. I thought it was muscle pain so I went to two different massage therapists seeking relief, and started taking lots of pain meds. The pain was persistent though, so I finally went to my family doctor who also thought it was probably muscle pain, or pain from scar tissue that had formed there after my surgeries. She decided to send me to the Breast Health Clinic just to be on the safe side. Once again, there were several tests; ultrasounds, CT scans and biopsies before it was once again determined that I have cancer. This time it has metastasized to the nodes under my clavicle and my sternum. There is also a spot on my lungs which they are still not sure about. This is now considered metastatic breast cancer, and is stage 4.

So here we are today. It was a big day. I met my new oncologist and feel like I am in the best care. Her plan for me includes more chemo, radiation and a trial medication. To say we are scared is to put it mildly. I look at my children, Ella who is 7 and Greyson who is 5 and the thought that they are going to be put through this makes me want to scream. I want them to have a fantastic childhood filled with endless adventure and happiness, not having to worry about their mom. They deserve that. All kids deserve that. I want to ride along side them as they ride their bikes, not spend my days in bed.    

You may wonder why I am sharing this. Well, last time around my family and I found it difficult to keep everyone updated all the time. I thought this would be a good way of keeping people in the loop, while also allowing me to write down my thoughts.

Another thing you should know about me is that I love a good dare and I rarely pass them up. Well, my friend Silke dared me to beat this cancer, and so I plan to. If you want to follow me on my adventure, I would be happy to have you along for the ride. I can use all the friends, support and prayers I can get!


Love Jen